Who’s That Girl? Quotes
"How much artifice, she wondered, was crammed into this one appealing photograph?"
"Untruth number one: she and Louis looked like they adored each other’s company."
"Louis, an Instagram professional and very sour plum, fiddled with the brightness and contrast settings. ‘Now to filter ourselves to fuck.’"
"And then there was the caption. The biggest deception of all."
"Nothing tested popularity like several hundred miles of motorway."
"‘Shame I’m a bender!’ Louis replied. That’d be the least of our problems, Edie thought."
"I really thought Charlotte would go for something more clean, minimal."
"The Old Swan in Harrogate was not, as the name suggested, modern."
"‘I prefer a game of Bananagrams and a hot bath, these days,’ another offered. ‘Barbara still likes a bit of cock, well enough.’"
"‘It’ll be rocking out to Kings Of Leon’s ‘Sex On Fire’ and Toni Braxton for the erection section. Why can’t weddings be more MODERN?’"
"‘Was that free?’ barked the sixty-something man with the hearing aid."
"‘Forgive me if I don’t scrabble for my inhaler in shock,’ he said, looking at Louis’s quiffed hair."
"‘I think it’s more whether marriage will ever bother with me,’ Edie said."
"‘What do you want me to say?’ Edie said, with as little emotion as possible."
"‘Edie. Stop being like this. I’m trying to tell you that you matter to me. I don’t think you know that.’"
"‘Oh God,’ stepped forward, leaned down, and kissed her."
"‘You’re condemned to a green and pleasant city with a university boating lake, not fucking Mordor. Now get lost – you’re only reading the BBC News site, and the cleaners want to get in.’"
"‘Don’t expect someone who doesn’t know who they are to care who you are.’"
"‘For fuck’s sake, don’t get off with Elliot Owen.’"
"The world is Owen’s oyster right now, yet he makes it clear that he’s not interested in the low-hanging fruit of decorative roles."
"You might as well pop down to the shop on the corner and expect your lotto ticket to pay off your mortgage."
"I’m not saying it’s your fault. We all do it. You can only look what happened in the eyes and learn from it and try not to repeat it."
"When your relationship is making you feel life’s too long, something’s gone awry."
"I wasn’t trying for an affair. I wouldn’t do that."
"There was an aggressive piety to forcing it on them: it wasn’t for the food to get nicer, it was for their minds to get wider."
"The only thing that comes to those who wait is cancer."
"The truth is it was funny and weird and a buzz to me for about five minutes, and then the novelty wore off and stayed off."
"I didn’t know I was looking for this until the very moment I found it."
"You gave it away and you aren’t getting it back. The devil doesn’t do refunds."
"The same reasons you let him kiss you, I guess."
"He kept you at arm’s length, enjoyed the frisson, and stuck with the safer bet."
"No one’s marrying THAT. NO ONE. Pig in a ribbon."
"If you’d asked me that before I’d have said a hissy-fit-chucking dickhead."
"You might not like what happened – neither do I – but bullying is still bullying."
"I hope if she ever gets married, someone completely trashes her big day."
"It was as much him as you, if not more. Why is it on you?"
"You’re young and beautiful, why not have a go at this boy while you’re at it?"
"Everyone pretends their life is great online. It’s lies by omission."
"The question of whether they’d still laugh at your jokes if you worked in Greggs is always there, hovering."
"It’s a bit banal, though, darling, isn’t it?"
"I always thought she would do something like this."
"Don’t make excuses for her constantly. That isn’t going to help."
"I know how much this 'everyone wanting to be his friend' freaks him out."
"Treat those two imposters of popularity and infamy just the same."
"My feeling on seeing that is that it turns out I’d had a relationship with an adolescent and didn’t realize."
"I will suggest to Charlotte that if this is something she can resolve in a marriage then it’s something she can resolve in the workplace."
"It’s the freedom to have un-groomed genitals."
"You don’t need to be ashamed. Well, you do a bit, but you can be honest in your shame."
"You can’t think your way out of being in love. You are or you aren’t."
"It was your fault as much as his. You won’t get over him until you realize that."
"I mean the whole affair. Kenneth Tynan said 'We seek the teeth to match our wounds'. In some way, this man was who you were looking for."
"I don’t tell anyone about what happened with my mum. I say she died but I don’t explain how."
"You have to let it go, or you’ll go mad. Trust me on this. Keep these words in your head: 'Those who know me better, know better'."
"The snowflake doesn’t feel responsible for the avalanche."
"You need people to like you. Stop caring so much. It doesn’t matter."
"You know they’re thinking, even if he’s a crap shag, it’s an anecdote."
"I’ve thought about it. I’m thinking about it now."
"You might’ve said you wanted to. Can you really not see why I went to him and not you?"
"It’s quite an accolade that he’d risk so much for a kiss. Romantic, really. In a twisted way."
"The love that remains after someone is gone."
"You’ll find things out, but you don’t make things up."
"Don’t wait for men’s permission. Don’t wait for anyone’s permission, in fact."
"You are so much better than everyone else, so special, you’re 'I’m so smart with my smart comebacks' Edie."
"You can’t not do it. That’s why. We see these things and we want to run from them. And yet something pushes us towards the darkness."
"I am just going outside and may be some time."
"Why bother to care about anyone? Most of them let you down. Most people were awful."
"You don’t expect to see Prince Wulfroarer having a slanging match outside your local!"
"That which does not kill you makes you stronger."
"I have all the grog I want at home, dear heart."
"Don’t worry about Heather turning up, by the way. She couldn’t find Nottingham on a map."
"When they dredged her body, it had got tangled up in a lock."
"If you want to settle down, you don’t want someone laying his hat somewhere else by next week."
"We didn’t have Mum very long. But that doesn’t mean she didn’t make a huge difference to us. We loved her and she loved us. We’ll never forget her. We still love her."
"It’s our tradition we have Frank Sinatra during the making of lunch."
"As long as they know the dress code is 'dressed'. Oh bugger, I forgot the pigs in blankets."
"This is too precious for me to mess it up by doing something that every instinct I have tells me is wrong."
"You get people who are important to you, for as long as you get them. You never know how long it will be. You have to accept it and make use of the time you have."
"I notice, when you’re not around. I think the word is ‘saudade’."
"Relationships are choices, it’s not about fate and karma and all that."
"Traditions have to start somewhere. I’m starting one."