Class Mom Quotes
"Well, that should give them something to think about."
"It’s not great when the wife of the owner breaks down and cries because she can’t get over the wall."
"Sometimes I think he uses a blindfold and a dart to put his outfits together."
"You never know what ensemble he is going to come up with."
"Don’t you think we’re at least going to need water, to say nothing of alcohol?"
"I hope it’s not what ends up as the most noteworthy thing in my obituary, but you never know."
"It was weeks before I could show my face down at the store again."
"I’m not a very high-maintenance woman, but I do need more than six minutes to shower and look presentable."
"The banishing of PB is a problem for us because PBJ sandwiches are the only ones Max will eat."
"You say that now, but I think Nana’s on to us. Watch her carefully."
"Let me just say that my mom has a good heart and no taste buds. Everything she makes has way too much seasoning."
"What else would you call it? It was a wedding gift from Ron’s ex. She sent us a gravy boat shaped like a turkey, where the neck is the handle and the gravy comes out the ass."
"You better watch out. You better not cry. You better not pout. I’m telling you why. Miss Ward’s class is having a bash!"
"So, what is this couple’s name, again?" Ron asks as we are driving to the Fancys’ neighborhood. "Kim and David. Daughter is Nancy."
"I’m sorry, Jen, but some of the parents feel you use the position to push your own agenda."
"Well, if they were your friends you’d say the party is at a friend’s house."
"If I knew that, don’t you think I’d go get it?"
"Yes, you were. What the hell happened? You’re hideous now."
"I thought it was gutsy of her to show up at all, but realized she probably did it for Chyna."
"What about now?" "Now? Why would you come back now? You have a new family."
"I’m sure she’d be happier finally getting to meet her father."
"You seem lonely, baby. Maybe I could cheer you up a bit."
"Seriously, where’s the line? Do they keep moving it?"
"I have to say, I still think Miss Ward is crazy, but damn if she doesn’t run a tight ship."
"I never thought I’d have an ally in Miss Ward. Maybe Asami is getting on her nerves, too."
"I’m a good daughter. At least, that’s what I tell myself."
"God, I love my KCK—that’s Kansas City, Kansas, for those of you not from the Wheat State."
"My sabotage efforts, though not in vain, turned out to be unnecessary."
"Well, to be a player you’ve got to have game. And that man just does not have it."
"Sometimes once is all it takes for a woman to fall in love. A man, too, by the way."
"I’ve missed having my little rant sessions to the class."
"It’s like a loose end that is just… dangling there."
"I sure hope you girls will always come to me if there’s a problem with Graydon."
"She is clearly getting enough from everyone else. Looks like karma found its target after all."
"Shirleen, your charming email came in second place after Sasha Lewicki’s out-of-office reply, with a winning time of 58 seconds. Well done."
"It doesn’t affect the class dynamic at all. Why do you care?"
"I think I’ve figured out a way to smoke out Sasha. Let’s meet at Starbucks before pickup on Monday."
"I don’t lie," he says. "Almost never," he adds with conviction.
"I didn’t lie about him! He’s real. Zach B. saw him, too."
"We told you." Zach B. puts his arm around Max.
"Well, I’m sure glad the boys hashed that out. It’s good to get to the truth, I always say."
"I’m sitting with the moms, enjoying chicken Caesar salad and a delicious cup of smugness."
"On a scale of one to ten, what is your mood right now?" "Is ten the best or the worst?" "Whatever makes you happier."
"In God’s name, why?" "I think he’ll really enjoy it. It’s a lot of fun to watch."
"You’re a great girl and I was worried I had done something to lead you on. Now that I know the texts weren’t meant for me, it all makes sense."
"Sometimes I can’t believe how lucky I got. I did kiss a lot of frogs, but it was worth it to end up with this prince of a man."
"I want to scream, ‘I’m not ready yet!’ but the truth is, I am."
"You will always be the prettiest girl at my party. Don’t ever doubt it."
"I feel like a girl who’s ready for a bigger challenge, that’s for sure."
"Swear on Chyna’s life that you won’t say anything."
"I just saw Miss Ward and Kim Fancy making out by the Porta Potties."
"I’m just sayin’—they’re both good-looking women."
"Mom, I’m hungry. Can Chyna and I go to McDonald’s?"
"I hope Child Protective Services isn’t watching."
"I wanted to let you know that I have resigned."
"Why did you make up Sasha and Nadine Lewicki?"
"I’m feeling a little bad. She might have been crazy, but Miss Ward was a good teacher."
"It was nice to talk to you. I used to have a lot of friends."
"Just like Mary Poppins. Go fly a kite, Miss Ward."
"The only secret that actually stayed a secret was the real identity of Sasha Lewicki."