Whiskey Rebellion Quotes
"I’ll explain later. It’s been a hell of a day."
"I’ve made a lot of bad decisions in thirty years of living."
"Obviously my judgment has gotten worse as I’ve grown older."
"Men always seem to go crazy for the pole dancers."
"I decided to keep the costume and cat o’ nine tails just in case I ever had a dominance emergency."
"So it turns out I’m not cut out to be an exotic dancer."
"I’ve stripped, found a dead body, committed assault, gotten drunk, ogled a hot detective, despised the same hot detective, been escorted home in a police car and gotten another eviction notice. And it wasn’t even dinnertime."
"If I weren’t such a positive person, I would live in a constant state of depression."
"You look like a nice kid from a nice family. Go back to your teaching job and stay away from places like this. It doesn’t suit you."
"I’m thirty years old, Detective Dempsey. I stopped being a kid a long time ago."
"I tried to make a quick deal with God, swearing I wouldn’t miss church for the rest of the year if he’d just make this man go away."
"You’d think my body and my brain would be in agreement over the fact that Nick was all wrong for me, but my body insisted on being stubborn."
"Somewhere, probably cursed at birth by Rumpelstiltskin or some other crazy shit."
"I hit it on my steering wheel yesterday when I ran you off the road."
"I heard Nick rummaging around in the kitchen and rolled over so I could see what he was doing."
"You can’t spend fifty years of your life admiring his charisma and intelligence."
"Right at this moment a whole room full of cops are watching you take your clothes off on tape."
"All you need to do is make sure you’re not easy."
"I don’t understand why relationships are so difficult for me."
"I’m just so pissed off about everything. My life is spiraling down the toilet."
"I’ve got to get out of here. I’ve got the Wilders to satisfy."
"We’re not marriage counselors or divorce attorneys. We just do what we’re paid to do."
"People are weird," I said shaking my head. "That takes all the fun out of it for me."
"You can’t go around without undergarments on."
"I’m afraid there’s more of me in you and your sister than your father was hoping."
"He’ll come to regret the decisions he’s made someday. You’d have made a wonderful wife."
"And maybe next time you should look for someone who gives you better orgasms than a pint of Haagen Dazs."
"Getting caught as a peeping Tom is a misdemeanor fineable up to thirty days in jail and a five hundred dollar fine."
"I’ve known you too long to not know when you’re hot for someone."
"I’m sure it’ll give Mrs. Crumb a surprise, but it’s better to know for sure than to always wonder."
"I’d bet my Z that he guilted her into making her think she was the one who was in the wrong."
"I’d hate for you to get arrested. Of course, you do have friends with enough clout to get you off easy, and if we get a sympathetic judge you probably wouldn’t have to serve any jail time."
"I’ve always thought glass eyes were kind of expressionless, not hate-filled and menacing."
"You’re a liar," I said, but the color had drained from my face.
"You seem to be able to find the attractive men, but you don’t seem to be able to keep them."
"I’m going to enjoy moving into that little house you’ve had your eye on."
"That’s my house," I said, eyes squinted and adrenaline pumping.
"You cunt!" she yelled at the top of her lungs.
"You’re just a sexless wannabe that looks like a pathetic tramp in black leather."
"I’m not going to let anything happen to you. You’ll always be safe with me."
"I don’t have to take this from you. You’re the one that needs my help."
"I’ll help you out. But—I have a couple of stipulations."
"I'm not much of a crier normally, but I seemed to be leaking tears at an alarming rate."
"I love it when you're indisposed. Let me in."
"The truth is my mom’s meatloaf has the consistency of an Acme brick, and it’s still one of her best dishes."
"People do things they normally wouldn't when faced with prison terms."
"I could only hope our disguises worked because I couldn’t bear to give everyone in town more to talk about."
"I groaned and flopped back on the bed. I felt like hammered dog shit."
"I’d still thought he was a dog even after I hit him."
"I’m sorry to inform you that we’ve decided to opt out of our contract with you concerning the property on Hutton Street."
"I don’t think I’ve ever seen a woman with forearms that hairy."