And Away... Quotes
"In every dream home a heartache, And every step I take, Takes me further from heaven" - Roxy Music, 1971
"My life is trundling along like a podgy golden retriever being dragged along the pavement by an indifferent owner."
"I sleep on a thick memory-foam mattress so there is always a certain stickiness to my risings."
"I look in the mirror and see before me a face like a puddle of spaghetti hoops; bloated, creased and tired."
"I get very breathless at any exertion. I put it down to my age and the years of smoking."
"Exercise is my nemesis. I would rather clean a 747 jumbo jet using a mouse’s eyepatch than exercise."
"My immediate thought is that it is what my mum would have called ‘a cold on your chest’."
"Shyness is nice and shyness can stop you, From doing all the things in life you’d like to" - The Smiths, 1987
"I started smoking when I was eleven or twelve years old."
"He took her hand, They took the floor, She was his all time favourite dancer" - Orange Juice, 1982
"Now that I’ve found peace at last, Tell me, Jesus, will it last?" - The Blue Nile, 1996
"I lied to you, I’ve cheated too, So what friend can I be?" - Squeeze, 1991
"Everybody’s a dreamer and everybody’s a star, and everybody’s in showbiz, it doesn’t matter who you are." - The Kinks, 1972
"I will always avoid conflict no matter where it occurs or who is involved."
"The power of weak lager and chicken curry should not be underestimated."
"I’ve always thought that the two most unselfish things you can do in life are to turn up on time and to be quiet around a house when someone else is sleeping."
"Men are so shit at coping with break-ups."
"I felt like I had seen the past, the present and the future of comedy."
"He was, after all, as Jim’s flyers posted around New Cross declared, ‘Britain’s top light entertainer’."
"Whenever Jim and I talk about the good old days, we always remember them as our favourite characters to perform."
"I am transfixed. I have found a very happy place. This is magnificent. This is Mr Vic Reeves."
"I felt like I had been transported, in an instant, to a world of entertainment far, far away from anything I have ever witnessed before."
"It’s hard to nail down what the show actually was: part variety show, part a total law unto itself."
"I sneaked into the studio to watch her perform the song for her sound check. It felt like I was getting a personal rendition of one of my favourite songs ever."
"Phil Collins... was an absolute gem: so down-to-earth and normal."
"We would always lift our helmet visor if we passed a lady and we would always remove our gloves before entering commercial premises."
"You had to ride an English motorcycle, and swearing or fannying about in public was discouraged."
"I wasn’t really involved in anything that happened over those next couple of days."
"The first hint I got that Jim did want me to be a part of the show was when he phoned me to say that he was meeting an agent in London and that I should come along."
"With the money I had been paid for the pilot show, I had purchased more glass clowns and fish and a 1959 Ariel Leader motorcycle."
"It was enough to reroute the circuits in Higgins’ brain and his attention turned to discussing the incident with Noddy."
"Jim and I stood firm, however, and so the producers agreed that they would simply hire as many cameras as possible and just try to cover the action as it unfurled."
"I remember thinking at the time that Jim would probably not need me to be part of the show. It would only be twenty-six minutes long and Jim had more than enough material to fill that time slot."
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder, I suppose."
"It’s a whirlwind of ideas and laughter."
"Well, if that is true, then Paul delivered it by the bucketload."
"Pie holds a particularly special place in our hearts."
"The idea of a fishing show kept nagging at our minds."
"In many ways the show is the culmination of my journey back from sidekick Bob to stand-alone Robert."
"Making television is usually quite a stressful business."
"The show has proved very popular with the British public."
"Paul is the best company you could wish for: hilarious at all times and caring and tolerant when need be."
"My relationship with Mum was always slightly tainted by the events of 1967, when she lost her husband, her father and her house was burnt down (by me)."
"I often wonder what it must be like for a solo comedian, not having a soulmate to share the burden."
"In the course of writing this book, I contacted my brothers to pick their brains."