The Twisted Ones Quotes
"Everything I have to say sounds completely barking mad."
"I’m not writing this to be believed, or even to be read."
"Truth is, I don’t even know who you are."
"I turn decent books into decently readable books and hopeless books into hopeless books with better grammar."
"None of that’s particularly relevant. The important bit to know is that my grandfather died before I was born."
"Honestly, I don’t know how she managed to get married once, let alone twice."
"But I guess a lot of cruel people can pretend to be sweet when it suits them."
"He never said anything, just sat there and read the paper and took it."
"I’ve had songs stuck in my head before. TV theme songs were particularly bad."
"But I don’t have to write about those just yet, so I’ll just hope that my subconscious knows what it’s doing."
"The whole damn room was full of dead babies."
"She was a hundred and one. There’s a line of poetry I always think of, though I can’t remember who said it. "The good die first / and they whose hearts are dry as summer dust / burn to the socket."
"I wouldn’t have wanted to play with her stupid dolls anyway. I much preferred stuffed animals, and china dolls are creepy no matter what age you are."
"I’ll cut you some slack on remembering the freezer."
"He couldn’t see me, but he could still probably guess."
"Gah. I don’t know why I’m telling you all these details. None of this matters, except maybe the odd people at the funeral."
"Bongo got a cheeseburger, which made him think that he was in heaven."
"North Carolina weather is so erratic that it could go from blazing hot to below freezing by the end of the week."
"Scary rocks notwithstanding, he usually has very good leash manners, despite his other flaws."
"I suppose I was technically trespassing, but it was out of deer season, and my impression was that nobody around here cared very much."
"It looked familiar only from trips with Aunt Kate."
"That makes it sound like I’m some kind of amazing plant-identifying genius, but this one’s easy."
"And I had to do a balletic twirl to straighten it out again."
"Well, then. Guess she doesn’t want to make friends."
"But it’s not like I had anywhere to be."
"I’d rather be out here with a broken ankle than back in that house right now."
"Maybe I should just call Dad back and tell him to hire a bulldozer."
"The world was not painted on some kind of enormous canvas designed to fool random dog walkers."
"It’s amazing the stuff they’ve got these days."
"It’s just a weird sculpture. It didn’t chase you. It wasn’t alive."
"I couldn’t go any faster, but he wasn’t about to stop."
"Relief hit me so strongly that I thought for a minute my knees were going to buckle."
"If there had been a cop on the road, he would have stopped me."
"I’m an editor. I have a vague knowledge of botany gleaned from my aunt and a highly specific knowledge of one particular breed of dog."
"You have any problems or just get spooked, come on over. We got a spare room."
"Sometimes it’s there, and sometimes it ain’t."
"I twisted myself around like the twisted ones."
"It’s a monster and monsters can’t get you when you’re asleep."
"What if they make another one out of him and he comes to the window with his skull flipped over and his paws on the windowsill?"
"My dog was out there somewhere. Until I had him back, or had proof he wasn’t coming back, I was going to stay."
"I saw a monster and then there was a bone on the stairs and my dog ran away after something."
"All you can do is start laughing hysterically because that’s the only thing that’s left."
"I twisted myself about like the twisted ones."
"Why was I even having to think things like this? My face felt hot."
"It was a valuable resource in our lives."
"If I was hallucinating all of this, I could have probably cooked up the effigy and maybe Foxy and definitely Kilroy, but I don’t think I could have come up with the world’s most exhausted public radio manager."
"Yes, yes, that was some weird shit, all right."
"I am so far from okay that I cannot see okay from here."
"They can make a hog walk around with a wasp nest for a head; you’d think sleeping with a fellow was no big deal."
"If you crack up, who’s gonna appreciate my jokes?"
"Until I get Bongo back, it’s still my problem."
"I don’t think we’re going to be doing much sleeping."
"The prodigal son has priorities, I guess."
"Believe me, if I had somebody I could call and say, ‘Hey, bad shit goin’ down,’ I’d have done it."
"You ain’t got a will, so iffen you die, they’re gonna take the whole place and throw Skip out on his ear."
"We got tea and I got a deck of cards. What do you want to do next?"
"I’m not scared. Tomas, you’re staying here, and that’s final."
"I’m about to do something stupid, and incidentally, the world is totally different than we think it is."
"If it’s either Bongo or I’m about to have the worst moment of my life, and opened the door."
"They are modeled on many things, but those are shapes of power."
"You’re under the voorish dome. You’re somewhere that hardly anyone else has been."
"Listen to the wind rushing by your ears. Isn’t that interesting?"
"Fine, it ain’t, but I’m an old lady and you’re supposed to be keeping my spirits up."
"I think it must have taken at least another ten or fifteen minutes, but it’s mostly a blur."
"Did they have kerosene in hell? Fairy whales? How did it work?"
"Someone must get the oil and refill the lamps."
"The only mercy was that there were no echoes."
"I truly don’t remember very much more about the walk through the city."
"I don’t think we can drive away on a muffler."
"I don’t know that that’s gonna be a problem."
It’s Cotgrave," I said. "That effigy. It’s made of Cotgrave. It’s got to be.
"Get it off get it off get it off this is mine this is mine you can’t touch it it’s on it it’s on me GET IT OFF!"
"We have to run, do you understand? The Building’s near the edge."
I’ve been watching you," she said. "To see if you could help me.
"I’m done, you hear me? I brought you a replacement. It’s not my fault she isn’t good enough."