Faking It Quotes
"God might forgive her the Botticelli Venus she’d painted in the bathroom in Iowa, the Uccello battle scene she’d done for the boardroom in New Jersey, even the Bosch orgy she’d painted in the bedroom in Utah, but these giant, glaring sunflowers were going to be His Last Straw."
"I am not going to rescue you. I can’t save everybody, I’m asthmatic, and I don’t want a dog, especially not one who acts like he snorts coke and looks like he rolls in it."
"We thought it was good. So you sold it. No. We put it back in the cabinet and put dustsheets on everything and went to Cup O’ Joe’s. And then today, Grandma had to go to the bank, and this Mrs. Lewis came in and asked if we had any paintings by somebody named Scarlet, and I said no, all we had was Dorcas Finsters."
"He stole her money. She’s innocent. Davy pulled Ronald’s plate over to his side of the booth and reached for the ketchup. Rabbit, I know she’s a great lay, but not even you could believe that."
"You have to prove you love me first. Get him out of the picture. You mean, kill him? Get him out of the picture."
"If you want to commit suicide, dying in Clea’s bed is as good a way to go as any, but first I need my money back. I don’t like being poor. It limits my scope."
"I don’t think I can, she’s staying with him now; how she had promised to call, would call, as soon as she had a chance. She’s very busy with the collection, It’s taking a lot of her time because Mason has to teach her so much."
"I will be beating you up on my own. And you know it was my money, you saw me make it playing the same stocks you did."
"You have no ethics. That’s how you got into this mess. Give me the damn numbers."
"She fell in love with folk paintings. Clea doesn’t fall in love, Clea follows money. Somewhere in this there is a guy with money."
"If it looks too good to be true, get out."
"Everybody’s crooked, the trick is to find out how they’re bent."
"I’m not responsible for you not knowing me, it’s not my fault you never looked."
"The things you love are never practice swings."
"You can get anything you want from people if you approach them the right way."
"I hate relying on other people to save me, I hate being clingy, I hate it."
"You can’t even trust the artist. They used to take paintings to Picasso for verification, and if he’d painted them and he didn’t like them, he’d deny them. But if somebody else had painted them and he liked them, he’d claim them."
"People don’t like to be made fools of, so they’d rather keep believing the con than go after the guy who swindled them."
"Nobody knows how the crooks work better than the legit people in the same business."
"There’s no point in it. If somebody who can take better care of me comes along, I’m going with him. That’s just sensible."
"Life could be a lot worse. She could be dependent on somebody else, she could be answerable to a boss, she could have to pretend she liked somebody in order to eat, that would be hell. She was lucky."
"Don’t," Mason said and went back to his paper.
"Oh, I’m sorry," Clea said, pulling her fingers back. "I was thinking."
"You’re tapping again," Mason said, closing his paper.
"I want you to stop him from coming after me," Clea said. "This man. Can you stop him from coming near me?"
"I’m sorry, I’m telling this so badly." Davy stuck his hands in his pockets and smiled at her, his best I’m-an-idiot smile. "I guess I’m nervous."
"Well, now, wait a minute, honey," Davy said, and got out his wallet. "We can go up to two thirty-four," he said, offering Mrs. Frost the bills.
"Okay," Davy said, rolling off the bed. "Try not to kick anybody this time."
"I never touched him." Davy put the juice away.
"I’ll get rid of him," Ronald said. "You don’t have to worry about a thing."
"Well, she does like men doing things for her. But I don’t think so. It’s not her MO."
"Oh," Davy said. "I was thinking about your boat. I bet the water’s blue and the sand is white and all the drinks have little umbrellas."
"What is it with you and the umbrellas?" Ford said.
"Just looking for a way out of the rain." Gwen went back to her Double-Crostic.
"I’ll never hear this song again without remembering how this felt."
"You don’t know me. You think you’ve had me, but you don’t know me."
"Just that you’re off the hook for the rest of the paintings now."
"I don’t deserve most of the stuff that happens to me."
"You called me because if somebody tries to kill me, you want to be sure you don’t go down for it."
"I have charm you haven’t experienced yet."
"You can’t tell him," Tilda said, sounding shocked. "It’s none of your business."
"People think that wearing masks makes them different, but what happens is they become the people they were meant to be. Without the mask, they’re Eves, doing the right thing, sacrificing for others. With the masks they’re Louises, completely themselves, without guilt. They can do anything. It’s that transformation thing."
"If you can’t be a good example, you’ll just have to be a horrible warning."
"Face it," Tilda said. "You want to tell him because it’s the right thing for you to do, not the right thing for him to hear."
"Because I’ve been staring at it for years, and it’s been sneering back at me, and I wanted to put it in its place."
"It’s not sitting around wishing you were living and denying what you were born for. It’s not shilling for the freaking FBI."
"You’re born alone and you die alone, Davy. So you better know yourself, because you’re the only one who ever will."
"People die in their beds, Gwen," Ford said. "Doesn’t mean they don’t hit the sheets."
"Nobody stands in my way," Tilda said and carried the paint can out through the office.
"Have to give the devil his due. You're good."
"Sometimes it's better to stay and get taken."
"And stay to the left," she hissed as she closed the door on him. "I have stuff stored on the right."
"You’re late." Clea drew her into the room, locking the door behind her again.
"You can’t turn me in because if you do, these paintings are worthless and you lose Mason."
"Honest to God, these people and their conditions, it was enough to make a woman turn to Ronald."
"He puts up with a lot for sex. Give me the paintings."
"I need you to be very quiet," Davy said in her ear, and her body melted into relief as she turned to face him.
"I’m not going to." He bent to kiss her again, and she gripped his shirt tighter.
"I don’t think they’re bluffing," Davy said. "And even if they are, we have an ace in the hole. Or in the hall."
"You’re all bluffing," Mason said. "Well, I’m calling. You have nothing. Game’s over."
"Well, pay attention," Tilda said. "Why would she kill him if he was eighty-nine and rich?"
"Not according to the FBI, they didn’t," Mason said. "At least Cyril didn’t. He was poisoned."
"I did not kill my husband. Either one of them. They both died of heart attacks."
"It was just my lousy luck," Clea said miserably. "He was supposed to have all this money and then it turned out he’d spent it on his art collection and then most of that burned—"
"I love you. Marry me, Matilda, and make me the most confused man on earth."
"Here’s your wedding present, Dempsey. I’d stay to explain but those Goodnight women are too damn dangerous. Best wishes, Simon."
"I did not hire him to kill you," Clea said.
"You’re FBI?" Gwen said to Ford, focusing on the essentials.