The Rosie Effect Quotes
"Sex was absolutely not allowed to be scheduled, at least not by explicit discussion."
"To provide an element of unpredictability, I settled on tossing a coin twice to select a component of the routine to delete."
"Orange juice was not compatible with the wine."
"The content of the Gregory Peck line was irrelevant. The effect came entirely from the delivery."
"Our preferences for order are at different ends of the scale."
"The rent was high and the apartment had a number of faults that the management was reluctant to rectify."
"I sometimes spent longer in the bathroom than was strictly necessary."
"Once again, I was struck by her extraordinary beauty and inexplicable decision to select me as her partner."
"Nobody asks if Freud checked the use-by date on the milk."
"The reduction in room numbers, combined with marriage, meant I had been thrown into closer sustained proximity with another human being than ever before."
"Rosie raised her glass as if proposing a toast."
"The situation as I stood in the bathroom could not have been worse in terms of mental stress."
"Reviewing my response later, I realized that my brain had been assaulted with information that appeared to defy logic on three counts."
"Don, conferences—overseas conferences—don’t count. That’s why people go to conferences. Everyone understands that."
"Rosie emerged from the bathroom and stuck her tongue out, a gesture that seemed inconsistent with scientific authority."
"Rosie had joined me in the bathroom and was examining some component of her face in the mirror."
"We should be investing more in nuclear power, and finding technological solutions."
"Humans are poor at restraint but good at technology."
"Do whatever you like and hope that someone will come along and fix it."
"It is incredible what complex ideas can be conveyed by a human facial expression."
"I consider it wrong to stereotype people, but it might have been useful in this situation."
"We need to be more open to thinking outside the box."
"I noted it for future use as perhaps less confronting than the story about the crying baby and the gun."
"Humans consistently overrecognize patterns and draw erroneous conclusions based on them."
"There’s only so much child care you can contract out."
"The correct amount of relatively undisturbed sleep is critical to optimum physical and mental functioning."
"It was an unfamiliar social protocol in unexpected circumstances driven by rules I did not know."
"The essence is this: you have to front the social worker and you have to bring Rosie."
"People pay money for this. You’re getting it for free."
"You need to think more about supporting Rosie. No matter what she’s saying about being independent, she needs your help."
"She’s got this idea of herself as Wonder Woman."
"Support. Taking an interest. Being there. That’s all Lydia and I are looking for."
"No matter what she’s saying about being independent, she needs your help."
"I need to demonstrate a contribution to the pregnancy process?"
"You’re hilarious. I guess if I wasn’t throwing up or feeling like shit . . ."
"Correct. I recommend What to Expect When You’re Expecting. It’s intended for pregnant women."
"I’ll let you guys have a romantic dinner alone."
"You should be thinking about Claudia. Fixing the problem of your promiscuity."
"I’m not promiscuous. I’m only seeing one woman."
"Go and get us both a coffee. And then I want to talk to you about the anniversary."
"I want you to imagine that your baby is born, and it’s a girl, and she grows up to be ten years old."
"And you’re too obsessional. Lucky I’m the one who’s having it."
"What advice has your medical practitioner provided on diet?"
"I haven’t had a chance to make an appointment. I’ve been frantic with the thesis."
"You’re overdue for the eight-week ultrasound."
"I’ll ask David Borenstein for a recommendation and make an appointment for you."
"I’m guessing I’m more likely to be run over walking to Columbia than poisoned by oysters."
"It won’t be possible to solve the problem while you’re emotionally incapacitated."
"Probably a result of being stupid. Highly intelligent people are often bullied."
"Better to leave the baby for a while. But you need to calm down fast, that’s what I’m hearing. So, deep breathing, try to visualize a relaxing scene, talk to yourself, say a calming word or sentence over and over."
"The Hardy–Ramanujan number, 1729, is the lowest natural number that can be expressed as the sum of two cubes in two different ways."
"Incorrect. Rosie wants you to leave, hence I am required to ask you to leave."
"The first job’s because I’m a nurse. So’s the second. So’s getting the coffee, for that matter."
"I thought it was going to be me, but sure. If you don’t upset him."
"I’ve been assigned by the dean to ensure that the research is not influenced by lesbian politics."
"I’m afraid it’s probably best to put it down, unless you want to hand feed it."
"Humans conceal their fertility to encourage ongoing closeness."
"The parallels with the sonogram appointment were striking."
"We shouldn’t be defeated by problems. If we think hard enough, a solution will present itself."
"I was laughing at the complexity of the whole business."
"If I couldn’t make it with Rosie, I couldn’t make it with anyone."
"Your pelvic bones and vagina will already be well stretched."
"None of these women have someone else’s maid as their best friend."
"Having a husband like that is worse than having no supports."
"He may well keep the woman from taking some positive action by herself."
"As a potential father, I was manifestly unsuitable, and it was increasingly clear that I was no longer required in my role as a partner."
"Falling in love with Rosie had been the single best event of my life."
"It was, of course, not the fault of the cosmos but of my own limitations."
"I had simply gotten too many things wrong, and the damage had accumulated."
"My family was in Australia, but I was fortunate to have incredible support from Gene, Dave, George, Sonia, Claudia, and the dean."
"Honesty was not included in the list, but was obviously a desirable attribute."
"I realized I had hoped that Rosie would disagree with me—possibly even laugh at some error in my thinking—and things would return to normal."
"Despite the plausibility—possibly the inevitability—of what I had just learned, I was stunned."
"My life would revert to the way it was prior to Rosie. It would be better for the changes Rosie had stimulated me to make and for the new ways I had of perceiving reality."
"Rosie’s mother had slept with one man and married another who remained loyal to her despite them both believing Rosie was the original man’s child."
"I was crippled—challenged—incapable of the feelings needed to drive normal behavior."
"You require less crazy, not zero crazy. You need a scheduled optimum amount of crazy."
"The objective is to keep the baby’s head from putting pressure on the cord, by pushing it back if necessary."
"Originally there was only one relationship. You and me."
"We’re there for Dave. Men hand out cigars because they need something to do."
"Humans should be permanently under development."
"I had vast amounts of confusing information to process, and I knew that there was no point beginning until my head was clear again."
"I was accustomed to having empty seats beside me, except on full flights, as a result of my special status with the airline."