You've Been Volunteered Quotes
"Sadly, Nina is no longer PTA president, nor is she living in Kansas City. My best friend in the world now calls Tennessee home."
"There is a little hole in my heart and an emptiness in my life that no number of texts or phone calls is able to fill."
"I’m not sure where she learned to make a bed with hospital corners, but I’m thrilled she did."
"It was the first time I had ever heard her swear and I learned very quickly it wasn’t going to be the last."
"You hate me? Really? You feel the same way about me that I feel about rats?"
"But then I realized that the next level up in kids’ television is sitcoms about precocious preteens sassing their adult supervisors."
"I can’t help but wonder if Max’s turn to the dark side has anything to do with Ron not being around as much."
"I never knew there was so much equipment: mats, straps, blocks, blankets, bands, and bolsters."
"Instead of helping, it brought up a Pandora’s box of other issues in their marriage including money, in-laws, and a few of Buddy’s personal habits."
"I figure a face-to-face will help. I pull into the strip mall and park right next to her old blue VW Jetta."
"I’m not sure what her true feelings are underneath this defiant façade. Is she ashamed? Angry? Regretful?"
"When you feel someone else’s pain and joy as powerfully as if it were your own, then you know you really loved them." — Ann Brashares
"I have a hemorrhoid the size of a golf ball."
"You can’t blame me for asking. You’re a little distracted this year."
"It was just the lift I needed in an otherwise bleak day. Merry Christmas to me!"
"She’s trying to blame Draper for her son not having any friends."
"Well, I’d say you’re both lucky that this is the last day of school for two weeks."
"Mom, I’m going to give you one hundred dollars and I want you to go to the roulette wheel at the Mirage and bet the whole thing on black 22."
"I know, I’m not the bad guy. I’m the good guy."
"Pregnancy is a bitch at any time, but going through it without a partner is brutal."
"Something has been on my mind for quite a while and I wanted to share it with you."
"You’d think we were headed to Disney, with the number of kids on the plane."
"Better than trying to climb a tree in roller skates."
"I don’t think I do, but you never know what people pick up on."
"My expectations have been so drastically lowered by his behavior this year that basic common courtesy has become a surprise."
"I got through the first ten weeks without you."
"I wish I had a better reason than 'too much wine,' but I don’t."
"My most sincere apologies for that free-form slam poetry overshare."
"I don’t think I can get through the next five days."
"I’m here for you. And believe me, it’s not always easy to be me being here for you."
"I hate it. But I do it because we are going broke."
"I’m not planning on doing anything special, trust me."
"I should mention that the heart of the email—regarding class birthday parties—was not a drunken illusion, so please keep that in mind until the end of the year."
"I wanted to see if he’d at least act uncomfortable with me, but he was just doing his arm workout as though he hadn’t slept with my daughter."
"I guess I said that a little too loudly because Vin Diesel was back giving me a dirty look."