How To Murder Your Life Quotes
"AS FAR BACK AS I can remember, I always wanted to be a beauty editor."
"I was born hardwired to be a beauty editor."
"Warning! If you are grossed out by 'white girl privilege' (who isn’t?), you might want to bail now."
"Where did the parents of the ADHD teen send her when she was failing school? A concentration camp!"
"I was officially done with my family. With Bethesda. With my house. With it all. I was so fucking done. Game over."
"I was absolutely all good. I was never homesick once."
"I felt like I was trapped inside a snow globe with Nicky and the girl."
"I was so excited about my production of Naomi in the Living Room."
"NO! GET RHIANNON! IT’S CAT! I NEED RHIANNON!"
"You’re still pregnant," the doctor confirmed.
"I’m sorry we missed the plays," I finally said.
"I don’t know what to do," Rhiannon repeated.
"Please, Rhiannon." I started crying again. "Please."
"I’d THOUGHT THAT THE WHOLE second-trimester abortion thing had been the cherry on top of the most catastrophic adolescence of all time."
"Bingeing straight-up anesthetized me, and I was hooked."
"It’s not always going to feel the way it feels today."
"But no matter how muddled I was, my doctor-shopping game was always on point."
"I was in big trouble. I watched him take everything in. It was not good."
"It was late evening. An assistant brought me a flute of champagne while the stylist felt around in the knots with her fingers."
"I’d been growing my hair out for six years. I can’t cut it!"
"You came here because you lost your marbles, and now we are giving them back to you."
"I think it’s really hard to get sober in your twenties!"
"I still had my job at Lucky; my family’s support; my health… I hadn’t lost anything. Not yet."
"That hadn’t changed. But two things were très different at 4 Times Square."
"So my career was secure after rehab. My home life? Not so much."
"I was sober and enrolled in an outpatient program."
"But back in Manhattan, not being on stimulants just felt… wrong."
"Now that’s what a relapse was supposed to feel like."
"I loved New York. I loved my job; I loved working. I fucking loved Condé Nast. And I loved being high."
"If you’ve ever experienced insomnia—and I’m sure you have—then you know that there is nothing as brutal."
"I killed a mouse in my new apartment last night!"
"You’re not going anywhere," Jean told me privately."
"Marco and I would have each other’s back."
"It’s a real moron—popping speed day and night, for days on end."
"Amphetamine messed with my internal clock, sure, but it also totally helped me push through the fatigue."
"I was too drunk must I have been, to lean my hair back into an open flame—and then to not notice until a bartender started slapping me with a towel?"
"I decided I wanted something new to wear to the wedding, so we went to Tokio 7."
"This is a new era! I was in control now."
"Please help me sleep. Please let me sleep. Please help me."
"You're not even depressed. You're a drug addict."
"I'm a beauty editor. At a fashion magazine."
"You’re a good talker. I see how you try to charm people."
"I was—I am—bulimic and obsessed with my looks."
"I have people at work who tell me I'm talented and who promote me."
"I'm choosing to believe you. But you must do better."
"My coworkers would divide the dinners, press trips, and mascara launches three ways while I sat there with my eyes as glazed as a Krispy Kreme."
"I showed up high, I showed up bloody, I showed up crying and hid in the beauty closet all day, but I showed up."
"It was sneaky and avoidant, and don’t think everybody didn’t know it."
"My addiction was beating me like a rug."
"No more getting dressed. No more effort. It was all over."
"I was so pale, with an inch and a half of black roots."