My Roommate Is A Vampire Quotes
"There has to be something wrong with this place."
"Anything that sounds too good to be true usually is."
"Maybe this person’s just not home a lot and only wants a roommate for safety reasons, not income."
"If this guy turns out to be the next Jeffrey Dahmer, promise me you’ll avenge my death?"
"I am blocking your number as soon as I work out how that is done."
"God’s thumbs, Miss Greenberg! Why would you think I had dead people in my hall closet?"
"Every day I feel more myself again, and more at ease in this strange modern world."
"I believe I have old-fashioned views, but I simply don’t understand why you would spend your time creating something like this."
"I want to create something memorable with my art. Something lasting."
"You have never met anyone like me, Miss Greenberg."
"My art combines objects I find with images I paint."
"I would end the arrangement myself, but I think that would not only be unwise, but also unfair to both me and Miss Jameson."
"Please believe me when I say that for all intents and purposes I have not fed on a living human in over two hundred years."
"I suspect I am a rather hopeless case when it comes to modern art."
"I just like her drawings. And her everything."
"But if, upon waking, I had reliable access to information at my fingertips it would have impeded his ability to play practical jokes on me."
"I discovered a feature called talk to text. Without it, I would never use my phone at all."
"The clarity of the photographs you can see on the internet is astounding."
"He had a point there. If I’d just woken up from a century-long nap, I might have reached the same conclusion."
"It’s important to get adequate nutrition, you know."
"I try desperately to ignore the urgent, now-familiar ache in my loins."
"I have never seen cats before. I have never seen your page."
"I am filled with rage. At the photographer for taking that picture."
"Because God’s thumbs—when I saw that picture of her all I could think was how badly I want Cassie to wear that 'bathing suit' of hers for me."
"I just wanted to see if anything significant had changed."
"What is desirable in a kiss in one era may not be pleasurable in another."
"You look like you just walked out of a J. Crew photo shoot."
"Vampires can run very fast, you know. Also, if necessary, vampires can fly."
"If vampires were capable of producing tears I would have cried my eyes out."
"There's no blood in here, either. Or severed heads."
"The vast majority of vampires can use some degree of glamour on humans to make things appear different from how they are in reality."
"Your scent changes subtly, but unmistakably, when you are aroused."
"The only real rule in art is to make something you enjoy."
"In the end, though, this is your painting. Make something you love."
"I guess this argument concerned me after all."
"I am not the person I was in the early nineteenth century, Cassie. I haven’t been that person in a very long time."
"It’s a good thing I was standing near the couch."
"Because the Jamesons interpret your actions, as I have, as a clear sign that you have not been in your right mind since your awakening."
"They do require me to eat the way those of our kind typically do (a nasty business which I try and dispense with as painlessly as possible for all involved)."
"If I hadn’t been, my legs giving out upon hearing the words marry her would have resulted in my landing on the floor—and would have been a whole lot more uncomfortable."